Films / Lists

My Most Overrated Films – dont hit me

This list is inspired by the fact that so many people list Shawshank Redemption as one of their favourite films of all time; despite actually finding it average and hold it in high regard because they think they’re supposed to or because everyone else says it’s so great. It’s, I asked 4 people. To be fair all these films are overrated so they are in no particular order.

1.       Shawshank Redemption

Indulge me. I know speaking against this film maybe taboo but it’s painfully average. Yes there are some good quotes, yes it has a happy ending and yes it has Morgan Freeman but that doesn’t make it as amazing as everyone says! Marred with clichés (the aged prison philosopher befriending/ mentoring the wrongly convicted introverted accountant as he tries to survive sadistic guards and an evil prison warden), we are shown that maintaining dignity through the hardest of situations (Prison Rape anyone?) and good will prevail over evil. This is a lie, it’s such a misleading lie that it should be considered irresponsible! And it’s sooooo bleeding long, over 2 hours of this. I’ll concede it’s a decent film but it’s not the master piece everyone makes it out to be. Next time someone asks you what your favourite film is and before you say Shawshank, ask yourself if you really mean it, please, just for me.

2.       Citizen Kane

This Orson Welles ‘masterpiece’  film sat atop of many lists complied by ‘resected’ movie critics as the greatest film of all time until recently (deservedly) dethroned by Hitchcock’s Vertigo. For some reason it’s considered a ground-breaking piece of cinema, a tale of sorrow drenched with intricate subtlety and mystery. It’s not. I mean its ok; it’s just a bit dull (like sitting through a uni lecture on some facet of chemistry accompanied with grey PowerPoint slides and unenthused lecturer).

Honestly, it’s really well shot and put together, the cinematography and presentation is well ahead of its time and the plot makes sense, sort of. But it’s the ending that really gets my goat. A Sled!! Rosebud was a fricking Sled!! Kane was a prick, but a Sled was his greatest love! Gimme my 2 hours back.

3.       Titanic

This is shit on so many levels. It’s a clichéd love story of people from different economic backgrounds but on a boat that sinks. That’s it. That didn’t take 3 hours. Plus parts of it didn’t even make sense. You know what? Watch this; I refuse to give this movie anymore my time after it pilfered 3 hours already.

4.       Star Wars (the lot of them)

It’s unequivocal impact on pop culture notwithstanding (Luke I really am your father), these Space Westerns really were quite decent. Quite decent  is not “OMG these are some of the greatest movies EVER”. I’m only counting the original series. The new ones are rubbish.

5.        The Matrix

I like Keanu Reeves, he’s funny to look at and he makes me laugh. Laurence Fishburne? He’s been ace since Apocolypse Now. The premise is a bit silly but that’s ok, there are some cracking action scenes and its impact  on pop culture is undoubted (Everyone has tried to dodge imaginary bullets like Neo, stop lying to yourself) but it takes itself WAY too seriously. And there is no way it should be revered as much as it is. It’s a solid Scfi action flick, isn’t that enough?

6.       The Twilight Saga (Every single wretched film)

I should not have to justify why this is overrated. Shoddy acting, horrifically clichéd love story and characters that are way too pale. The reasons why these films are worshipped is beyond me? Maybe this will end now that R-Patz and Miss Stewart have split, but I don’t know, I can only hope. But how on earth has this shitty story spawned 5 films?? I have little faith in humanity.

7.       Face Off

Nicholas Cage has a habit of appearing in awful films, Kick Ass excluded. This is no exception. A face Transplant? Really? Don’t be silly. Not even Jon Travolta could stop this from being a ridiculous mash of gun fu and over the top dialogue (and Travolta is awesome, From Paris with Love excluded).

8.       The Wrestler

I like Darren Aronofsky, Requiem for a Dream was trippy and Black Swan was equally trippy. This film was praised for its authenticity, Mickey Rourke was really believable as a man having trouble letting go and Marisa Tomei is always awesome. But this is not as good as everyone says. Personally I found it a slog to watch and although it highlights the human condition of self-sabotage and deluded perseverance it’s not a masterpiece.

9.       Beauty & the Beast

I have trouble understanding why adults who have seen this before willingly show this to their children. It’s a shameless glamorisation of Stockholm syndrome. The Beast holds the girl captive and whilst in captivity falls in love with him. Disney, What the frack? This worse than that time a bloke found a naked deaf girl on beach and fell in love with her.

10.      Tree of life

Terrence Malick the reclusive genius came out of a 5 year self-imposed film exile with this. It won awards and has Brad Pitt in it. I still have no idea what it’s about.

11.       Passion of the Christ

I think it’s the unwavering deluded support and love this film gets from the religious evangelical zealots that really bugs me. As a film its ok, a bit gory and it’s in Aramaic & Latin (that doesn’t happen every day). It’s probably the Tim Tebow of Movies to be honest. Plus it came with too much controversy with its supposed subtext for a film that really is an adaption of literature. To be fair Jim Cavaziel was fantastic as JC but I preferred when Mel Gibson was hanging out with Danny Glover and exploding toilets.

Bonus! Justin Beiber: Never Say Never

This doesn’t deserve any justification. Just know it’s rubbish and loved by an Army of fanatics, who are really mean on twitter.


One thought on “My Most Overrated Films – dont hit me

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